Pretty Girl...Pretty Girl

Have you ever seen "Dumb and Dumber"? If you're my age (gulp, almost 35!), you probably have seen it... If you're a millennial, you may have seen "Dumb and Dumberer" (I'm sorry) or you watched the original because it is now considered a cult classic. In any case, I hope you have seen the original because it's quirky and ridiculous, and full of one-liners you can use in daily life, well, if you've got a sick sense of humor, like me. 

In the movie, one of the characters (Lloyd, by they way, but that doesn't matter) sells a dead parakeet to a wheelchair-laden blind boy (because of course he does). There's this scene with this little boy stroking the bird's head (which has been taped on) and he's repeating "Pretty Bird. Pretty Bird." See. It's this sweet, innocent, pre-pubescent melody. And lately I've been repeating it over and over to myself in the mirror, except replacing "bird" with "girl." 

Stay with me now: You've almost certainly heard that what you put out into the world comes back to you, or about the power of positive thinking, or that you become what you think... Yadda yadda. Right? This idea, however it's phrased, has been passed along through history (even before The Secret mentioned it, I'll remind you). So I'm testing it out. 

Basically my whole life I struggled with self-confidence and didn't like the reflection I saw in the mirror. I would mentally pick apart all the things that were "wrong" with my appearance...I had acne, then scars and deep pores. A bubble nose. Bushy eyebrows, and then thin, patchy eyebrows after majorly tweezed brows were all the rage in the 90s. Freckles, which I tried to cover with WAY too much foundation. The list goes on, and that was just my face! 

But I've been watching a lot of documentaries about food (I've mentioned how much I love food, right?) and one of the main points that all of them bring up is how the energy you put into something can be tasted when it's served. (Just like the power of positive thinking, but for food!) For example, a plant growing in a small garden behind the restaurant will produce more fruit if you sing to it and nurture it like a child. That positive energy makes the plant "happy" and it can make the dish taste better! These super serious, classically trained chefs become these mushy love-addicts when they talk about the special connection to the plants they grow. It's so amusing to watch! 

And I've got to think that method can work on people too! I know I feel so good when someone gives me a compliment, so why don't I start complimenting myself? Will it have the same affect? 

So as I put the moisturizer on my face at night, I spread it over my high cheekbones and pay myself a little compliment..."pretty girl, pretty girl." Then in the morning I coat my long eyelashes with mascara and say "pretty girl, pretty girl." It's helping to replace the negative self-talk with these reminders that I have things I love about my appearance too. I am a pretty girl.

You're pretty too (even you rough and tough guys! It's a state of mind, not an aesthetic!) Tell yourself that today and believe it. Then live it.

XOXO
SKate

For me, Winter is Over! Bring on Spring!

Winter is over.

Okay, I know it’s January and Charlotte just had its first snow last weekend. Let me say, MY winter is over. Time to bring back the light.

I had my dark, icy moment, and now I’m done. I have the overwhelming urge to be natural and light…to be makeup free and barefoot and really vibe with the energy of a fresh world. Have you ever felt like that? I need that wholeness again!

My personal winter season started a month and a half ago. Winter being the season of darkness, of cold and ice, and nature withering and dying. My life was mimicking it by staying out too late, having mood swings from lack of nutrition and exercise, and my heart was definitely NOT filling with the spirit of Christmas.

Weird thing is, I got really wrapped up in the holidays and being social…which isn’t my natural disposition. That was my first problem. I’m mostly an introvert who happens to know how to fake being outgoing. But this year I made a goal to attend any and every holiday party I was invited to. I was determined to have fun, even if I had to force it! And actually the first couple of parties were very fun! I decided to let loose and eat and drink whatever I wanted (where normally I have a very regimented diet…as my coworkers who invite me to lunch daily and I politely decline, can attest to). There were frosted cookies and cakes, dips with chips, and pigs in a blanket, and chocolate truffles, and spiced cider, and mulled wine, and on and on and on. I am a huge fan of food and FREE food is my favorite food, so believe me when I say I would indulge at these parties!

After about the fifth party I was in a gingerbread and eggnog fog! I was drinking almost nightly by then, and getting very little sleep, or exercise. A terrible combination, if you’ve ever been there. And by the 12^th  party (yes, I did 12 parties between November 29^th and December 28^th!...it would have been 14 but one looked so lame my friend and I didn’t even go in, and one I couldn’t make because of last weekend’s ice storm), I was basically an alcoholic zombie eating anything in front of me! …Brains! Brains!...

I hardly recognized myself…like how Ben Affleck must feel these days (have you seen this?! How can he not realize he didn’t fasten his pants?! Link HERE. Something is wrong with this poor soul!). My face was puffy and breaking out, my body was bloated from all the salt and fried food, and I put on about 8 pounds. Eight pounds! In a month. Here I lost 20 pounds the summer before and was in great shape –for a 34 year old lady! – but I threw that out the window for a few fun nights?! I really need help with my decision making process! Any life coaches out there need a new client??

My social life was good, but everything else was suffering. Add to that the fact that I was sad I wouldn’t be going home to Michigan to be with my family on Christmas, a yearly tradition since I moved away from home over 16 years ago. I was feeling depressed. There, I said it.

I dyed my usually light/highlighted long hair a dark, dark brown and cut it short. I bought dark lipstick and lined my eyes with black. I was shrouded in all the black clothes I owned, not only to match my mood, but to cover up my protruding belly and jiggly booty. 

Note me on the left here. This is about Party #6. See the drunken, glazed over look and the dark, dark hair?!: 

Christmas and New Year’s came and went…and I spent a lot of time with good friends which was great. But I was still drinking and eating, sitting on my ass, and then drinking and eating more. Then I got a visit from my parents which brightened my mood. We talk about everything and sometimes we pull out the family pictures, get nostalgic, and shed a few tears about all the great times we’ve had in our lives. It was exactly what I needed to reground myself! They departed, and I went into January with renewed optimism and a great desire to shed this negativity (and the weight, obviously!).

So here we are, 10 days into 2017 and I’m DYING for the sun on my face and the smell of budding flowers and sound of chirping birds. And because spring is still a couple months away from visiting Charlotte, I will just have to create my own spring season. I’ve been gorging on vegetables, wearing shorts around my home, not wearing a stitch of makeup, exercising every day (yes, DAILY movement is key, for those that want to lose that jiggle! – I’ll write an upcoming blog on my diet and exercise regimen and how I already lost 5 pounds since the 1^st! Woot woot!), and I am smiling and dancing around like a goon.

Mother Nature’s seasons are just a suggestion. I’m making my own reality this year. Spring has sprung in my world! Time for me to bloom!

I hope you make yourself smile, today and every day.

Peace,

SKate