Rules? What rules? I don't have time for no stinkin rules!

Every day that passes "Post a blog" gets pushed lower and lower on my list of things to do. I was actually starting to feel guilty! What is that?! Here I am the master of my own universe and I'm disappointed in myself for not doing something that doesn't have a due date in the first place! That's ridiculous!

See, I had the best intentions for this blog...to post weekly starting on my birthday. But after that first week I just wasn't ready to post another soul-baring story. I guess that original goal I set keeps weighing on me, so every week I don't post something I feel like I disappointed you...or me...or God?!

But in the midst of this yucky feeling I had an epiphany! I remembered another principle of happiness that I haven't been paying enough attention to lately: Change your rules! I'm sure this has been said before (and I'm hoping I didn't just rip that off of from some t-shirt or bumper sticker company...Did I? Nope, just asked Siri. We're good.) But it's such an obvious, undeniable truth I've learned on my journey!

Hopefully I'm not the only one that has held on to some strange, strict rules for life at one time or another. Get this, I used to fold and iron clothes as soon as the dryer stopped. I would never just kick my shoes off in the middle of the room, they had a specific place in my closet. I even had a system of rotating the glasses and silverware so they'd get used evenly.  Oh, and I never used the last of anything before having the replacement in hand. I had rules for everything in my life! (You can go ahead and laugh now. I was a freak!)

When I called off my wedding a few years ago I decided that wasn't the only rule I was going to break. I was sick of these rules holding me back and only making me feel guilty when I didn't follow through with them. I wiped the slate clean that year and you wouldn't imagine the freedom that I immediately felt!

So now I spoon peanut butter right out of the jar, I take off my shoes and pants and throw them anywhere, as soon as I get home, and I never, ever, waste one second worrying about the unequal wear on my forks. Who has time for that?!


I challenge you to evaluate the rules you have on yourself and throw one right into the trash this week! Let me know what happens. (I bet you'll be just fine.) ;-)

XO ~
SKate

First Rule of Being in...Happiness

We've all met those totally "with it" people who have known what they wanted to be when they grow up from the time they can walk. You might even be one of those people. But I am so not one of those people. I wish I was. I wish that I had a clear path and knew I wanted to be, say, a lawyer and took steps to achieve that goal. I wish I was talented enough at a sport or a hobby that I became a pro before graduating from high school. Those people who do (the Em's and Carolyn's of the world) are blessed and amazing...and I hate them!

Okay, okay, no hate here, but I just don't see how that is fair. I played a little piano, but was by no means a prodigy. I did gymnastics up until I broke a bone (a clear sign that hobby was not a good fit for me). And a career path? Me? Not even close. My "path" is more like closing my eyes and throwing a dart at a big board of jobs...but every time the dart sticks, I flip my life upside down to do it. Let's see, it started at the local roller rink, at the snack bar and eventually the coveted DJ position. (Shout out!) Then there was the life of an assistant furniture buyer. Then I moved and could only find waitressing positions for a while...Oh, and I can't forget about my stint as a bartender at a bitching biker bar in Wisconsin. I landed in IT a few years back and enjoyed it, but then I threw another dart and it landed on "automotive glass shop owner in Utah" so, of course, I did that.... And the list goes on.

In preschool I remember having to draw a picture of what we wanted to be when we grow up. My classmates proceeded to draw the usual: teacher, doctor, fireman...But me? Take a wild guess at what I drew. (Need help? Just think of something completely ridiculous. It'll be that.)

I drew a cheerleader! A cheerleader?! Now, I realize you don't know me very well yet, and I might be a happy, smiley girl, but I am not cheerleader material. When all of my friends in middle school were trying out for the cheerleading squad I refused, and joined the swim team instead (well, a cute boy might have swayed my decision on that...but, more on boys another time).  Hell, I have just about the same amount of clarity on my future as I did when I was 4 years old!

But I have wondered what my life would be like if I had chosen to be a cheerleader. Would I have been bubbly and happy at a far earlier age? Would I have been so popular in high school that I'd have dated the quarterback and become prom queen? Something tells me, not. That just isn't me. And one thing I absolutely, positively know about being happy is that I have to be 100% authentic. I can only be SKate. Anytime I try to hide who I am or be something I'm not, I end up miserable!

I hope today and everyday you choose to be you. You're pretty rad. (But you know that.)

Rah rah!
SKate

Countdown to My First (Official) Blog Post

I've been a late-bloomer my whole life... Last one to lose my baby teeth, last one to need a training bra, last one to get married and have kids (still waiting on that one) and last one (in the world, I believe) to start a blog! I have had one hell of a year plus I have a birthday looming...so what better time to start a blog, am I right?

Here's what: I am happy. Truly, smiling-every-day, happy. And it came to me unexpectedly this year (see where I'm going with this blog name now, don't you? You smarty-pants, you!). After almost two years of having to fake a smile and living in a cloud of sadness, I can finally say that I am happy every day. ...Not that it was easy my friend! Or that I don't have to work on it! But I want to share my journey so maybe one of you can catch this happy-bug and end up with a perma-grin too. Happy.

Flip through the news channels, check out your Facebook newsfeed and even listen to the girl in the cubicle next to you. They all seem to keep reporting horrible, unhappy shit. (I do swear occasionally....let's get past it, okay? Plus, I heard that swearing is a sign a person is honest and trustworthy. Which I am. I will always tell you the truth, friend. And I veer off topic from time to time. You should know that about me right up front too.) Anyway, I know how influential these streams of toxic messages can be in my mind, and I've found ways to combat it and find the positive voice. It's out there if you listen. Come sit with me and we'll do it together.

I'll leave you tonight with one of my favorite quotes, taken (loosely) from Candide: We live in the "best of all possible worlds" and things happen for the best of all possible reasons.


This world brought you to me and me to you.
Sounds like the best to me!

Cheers!
SKate