Bikinis, Beaches, a Big Boat, a Best Friend, a Technology Break and Breathing Easy

In one week I'll be at the Ritz in Miami, most likely suffering from insomnia due to the excitement building for my 10 day singles cruise to the Caribbean on March 3rd!

This is a momentous vacation for me - it will be my first real vacation not accompanied by my parents or a past boyfriend. I'm going with my BFF and can only imagine the true spirit of freedom that will surround us. (Sing it for us George Michael)

Unlike traveling with parents I won't have to worry about curfews (yes, even on vacation!) or embarrassing them, or showing too much skin (bring on the teeny tiny bikinis!). And unlike traveling with my exes, I won't have to be on their schedule, or be careful who I talk to (a boy? gasp!), or how much I drink. Actually, the last cruise I was on, my boyfriend proposed to me the first night aboard! Michael* completely caught me off-guard. I remember being on the top deck and he started talking about a secret meeting he had up in Chicago a month before and that he hadn't been completely honest with me about a few things...I seriously considered throwing him overboard! WTF?! But then he revealed that he met up with my parents to ask for my hand in marriage... Precious. Too bad he was an angry, creepy, controlling, asshole or it would have been a great story to tell our kids someday. (I left him 4 weeks before our wedding in 2012, by the way. Sorry, not sorry. And I totally should have pushed the jackass overboard!)

Not sure how this post about a vacation turned into a confession, but I warned you in my very first blog that I tend to go off on tangents...and that I'm honest. Probably too honest. (Read that blog here)

Moving on... So this cruise will be one of the best weeks of my life, to be sure. We've got theme nights (everything from neon, to superhero, to masquerade) and island excursions (like a tour of Flamingo Beach and a zip line in Labadee), an endless drink package, fine dining, warm sun, oh, and cute singles!!

But mostly I'm looking forward to unplugging. I will not be online. I will not be on Facebook or Instagram. I will not be reachable by text. I will not be checking email. I will not even have my computer.

My life is far too controlled by screens! Can you relate??

I wake up to the alarm on my cell phone. I work all day in front of a laptop, with a second monitor. I go to the gym to run on a treadmill with a personal TV showing my course. I eat dinner scrolling through social media or reading a book on my Kindle. And at the end of the day I usually watch a show or movie in bed. 24-7 I'm tied to technology! And I need a break. I don't want to know who is complaining about our President, who's kid kept them up until 3am, or who made it through leg day at the gym. I really shouldn't care about that shit anyway, but I do. I do it too occasionally. And I (used to) like my virtual life. It used to be such a happy, funny life (remember addictive games, pictures with friends (NOT selfies), and check ins at restaurants?). Lately all the complaining and meddling in others' business is out of control! Give me the days before Likes (not to mention all the other emotions!), and making random FB albums, and bragging about your winning streak on Farmville! Where did our innocence go?! Look at this fluffy, happy, unicorn-type shit from 2006 that I posted:

Not a single Like or comment...we didn't do that back then. We actually took time to make albums, not just upload pictures from our phone. And we/I thought it was important to post a picture of a van shaped like a pig. I want that silliness back! We all take things FAR too seriously now. If a girl doesn't get 100 likes on a picture, she deletes it! We bicker over politics. We say mean things to people and feel empowered because of this buffer of a screen name. It's bullshit!

My request is that you think about your virtual life. How would someone view you if they ONLY saw your profiles? Do you use FB as a soapbox? Do you only go online to complain? Are you rude to people because you'll never meet them in person?

Can we try to follow that old adage our elders taught us that if we don't have something nice to say, we don't say it? Will you attempt to exude positiveness this week online? Try it: one week with ZERO complaints. NO bashing someone or their opinions. Try posting only compliments and jokes and things that make you smile.

Then after you conquered it this week. Try another week. Then another. 

Maybe someday the internet will be safer... or at least more fun and less judgmental. I'll do my part. I hope you'll do yours. 

Next week will be easy for me...no internet on my cruise. :) 

For now, it's time to dream about umbrella drinks and swimming in clear blue water. And a happy, silly internet world.

XO

SKate

*Names have NOT been changed because there was nothing innocent about that guy! Muwhahaha!

Kate Hudson is My Spirit Animal (alternate title: Vision Boards Changed My Life)

A few years ago vision boards were all the rage. You might have made one. You might still, which is good too. If you did, go find it and take inventory of what you put on it. Are there patterns? More of one type of thing than another? I've probably made 5 now but here is a snapshot of one of the first (it was multi-page in my journal):

Check out what I valued...do you see it too? I noticed it just today, it's mostly STUFF! Physical things that I wanted, be it shoes, a fancy car even a grand piano! STUFF! There is very little about who I wanted to be as a person, or what I wanted to experience that year, or goals I wanted to accomplish. Basically, I missed the point of the exercise and created a grown-up Christmas list. Sad.

This past fall I was getting restless in my current situation, as often happens to me every 3 or so years. I get wanderlust and I decide to pick up my life and change everything, move across country, or something equally as crazy. But this time I was thinking of moving to an island! Somewhere like Belize, or The Virgin Islands, or Panama. And in preparation, I walked around my apartment and looked at something, like my reading lamp, and asked myself if it was worth paying the hefty shipping fee to get it to my new place. I'd conclude it wasn't, then walk on to the next item. And so on. At the end of my walk-through I only had about 5 things (other than clothes of course) that I'd really want with me if I moved to a tropical island. It made me realize I wanted a life filled with more than just STUFF!

Since then I've been nonchalant about my belongings (which usually I'm very protective of and careful with) and haven't really been buying new stuff at all. I think my money is better spent on dinners with friends, or flights home to see my family, or vacations and new experiences...or, okay, the occasional tattoo, like this one:

I decided that I'd keep the bare minimum to make me comfortable and sell or donate the rest. So I'm in this purging mode (my stuff, not my stomach, to be clear!) and have challenged myself to keep only one of something, but definitely no more than 3 (say, pots, since I do like to cook). I don't even mind if I'll be "inconvenienced" someday if I go to reach for something that I need which I gave away the month before. That just gives me an opportunity to be creative and come up with an alternative plan...or to ask a friend or neighbor to borrow theirs. It's always been hard for me to admit I need help, but exercises like that will make me get over thinking of it as a weakness.

My stuff was clouding my life and what truly matters! I won't ever let that happen again. Hell, I'll become a minimalist and follow these guys before that happens (go watch their documentary on Netflix)!

But I do want to point out one beacon of hope on my vision board...the picture of Kate Hudson. I'm not a stalker, and although I think she's pretty, I don't want to date her...Don't be weird. But look at my handwritten note by the pic "Be chill like Kate." To me, that means to be more like the silly, yoga-loving, successful, Bohemian Princess that she is! Plus she's an entrepreneur, seems to have many close friends, and loves to have a good time! (Click here for a fun party pic...wouldn't you love to hang out with her?!) Bonus that my middle name is Kate...so every time I sign something, see my full name, or write a blog under my nickname, SKate, I will be reminded to be more free spirited and care less about my STUFF and more about my happiness.

Do you have STUFF you don't need? Is it taking over your home, and your life? If it's not important, or used regularly, I challenge you to get rid of it! You may even make a few extra dollars, which I suggest you put toward a vacation fund. :)

Have fun, always, Lovelies!
SKate